


Perceptor Reads Fanfiction

by Kintatsujo



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Fandom, Gen, In Character, Technobabble, mentions of robot sex, you keep using that word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-26
Updated: 2013-05-26
Packaged: 2017-12-13 00:03:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/817604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kintatsujo/pseuds/Kintatsujo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perceptor happens upon some Transformers fanfiction.  The Ark is not quiet for the rest of the day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perceptor Reads Fanfiction

**Author's Note:**

> And then there was that time that Perceptor was a geisha for half the episode. Good times, gentlemen. Good times.

"And do you know what these human hobby writers insist on referring to our hands as?"

Jazz and Blaster shot one another a look.  Blaster shrugged, and Jazz decided, well hey, might as well bite.  "What's that, Perceptor?"

"They refer to them as _servomechanisms!_ " Perceptor exploded, waving the appendages in question with as much exasperation as they'd ever seen him bear.  " ** _Servomechanisms!_** "

There was a pause.

"But... the servos are just a small part of our reflex systems," Jazz finally said, honestly flummoxed.

"Precisely!!" Perceptor exclaimed. "If we only had servomechanisms in our hands half the transformation process would be... unworkable!" He jabbed a finger at his other hand splayed wide. "Furthermore, consider the complexity in this apparatus! Each finger-- each finger requires three distinct joints! Each joint requires its own autocorrective feedback- that's a minimum of _fifteen servomechanisms_  in each hand for the fingers alone! That's not even including the wrists or the multidirectional qualities each finger possesses, most especially the thumb!"

"Settle down, Perceptor," Jazz said soothingly, spreading his own hands in a gentle stopping gesture. "Remember the humans you're used to are a coupla mechanics. Maybe the average human just doesn't know what a servo is!"

"But the concept of an automatic corrective device guided by negative feedback is so simple!" Perceptor was not calming down, Jazz observed with a hint of despair.

"Simple, sure, but simple's not gonna do any good if nobody's ever told 'em before," Blaster pointed out.

"They have entire dictionaries and encyclopaedias available _free_  on their interconnected networks!" Perceptor fairly whined. Jazz was starting to worry that he was getting ready to overheat and steeled himself for a call to Ratchet or First Aid. "If they are truly so interested in Cybertronian physionogmy, which _they clearly are_  given the detailed thought they've put into theorizing our sexual processes, one would naturally assume they'd make at least some effort to _use somewhat correct terminology!_ "

And that was when Jazz finally realized exactly what the text he'd been staring at over Perceptor's shoulder on the viewscreen actually was about.

"Perceptor... I'm a little surprised you haven't ranted about the fact that they're writing about you having consensual sexual processes with Megatron, actually."

Perceptor's optics flashed in surprise, and he spun on one foot. "They _are?!_ "

**Author's Note:**

> It is very easy for technobabble to get out of hand (pardon me). This fanon thing I keep seeing where hands are referred to as "servos" is an excellent example, as it is a gross misuse of the term (look it up on Wikipedia before you use a word like that) and takes me sharply out of the story every. Single. Time. I see it.
> 
> "Peds" for feet isn't much better, to be honest. For one thing, the correct plural of what you think you're using is "podes," and for another, if chairs can have feet, so can a giant alien robot.
> 
> No, I do not care that this has been a thing since G1 and that official writers are known for writing lines like "With a smile on our lip components." That does not make overuse and misuse of technobabble into good writing.
> 
> There is only one easy word for a thing that is as complicated of a manipulator mechanism as the human hand is... and that word is "hand." Roboticists refer to robotic hands as "hands" no matter what they're actually shaped like. A servomechanism is the kind of thing that your cruise control is. It is, comparitively, a very simple mechanism. Hands, well... just ask Perceptor how complex they are.
> 
> I am not trying to attack anyone with this. I'm just pointing out something that hurts people's writing when they do it.


End file.
